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Are Ready to Have a Baby?

All Personal Growth Articles

by based on input from Patrice Belle Isle

You may think you're ready to have a baby. But have you thought about it enough? Have you thought about the important life aspects in the list below? You are contemplating bringing another person into the world, and then being responsible for that person. If your decision is based on emotion rather than critical issues, it is probably the wrong decision.

Keep in mind that just because one or more of these issues means now is not the right time for you to have a baby, that doesn't mean you should never have one. What you want to do is solve these problems before a baby depends on you.

  • Unresolved issues. If you were abused as a child, you are likely to continue that abusive behavior. Don't have a baby until you have resolved to stop the pattern, received therapy, and attended parenting classes.
  • Time element. Do you have the time? Your life isn't your own after you have a baby. Your whole life changes.
  • Responsibility. If you can't even properly care for a pet, then don't have a baby.
  • Self-centered/Selfish state of mind. You're not the center of your universe after having a baby. Spend at least a couple of successive days with a child to see if you can handle it.
  • Support. A family unit with parents is highly preferable. You should be in a happy, healthy, stable, relationship. If you don't have a partner, then you need to find a strong support system.
  • Expense. Children cost a lot of money. Costs vary depending on your location and situation - anywhere from $500/mo. to $1500/mo. Check it out on-line.
  • Parental instinct. Parenting isn't totally instinctual. You learned much of it as a child. If you weren't nurtured, how do you know how to nurture?
  • No instructions or warranties. Babies don't come with directions. It's a learn as you go process. You don't even get a warranty on the quality of the baby. You may work your fanny off only to have your child grow up to be a Ne're Do Well.
  • No return policy. Once you take the baby home, you can't return or even exchange it - even if the birth takes place at Wal-Mart.
  • Relationships. Having a baby will not help a relationship. If anything, it will put a bigger strain on it.
  • No certainty. You'll never be 100% sure if you will be a good parent or ready to have baby.

More thoughts on when to have a baby

This whole subject brings up the question of whether to add yet another baby to our grossly overpopulated planet in the first place.

Don't do it for religious reasons. In many religious cults, it's a matter of doctrine for the adherents to breed large families. The purpose of this doctrine is to keep the adherents poor, and poverty is a proven way to keep adherents in a cult. A person truly concerned about morality would not have a large family, considering the consequences to what is presumably God's creation.

Don't do it to pass on your family name. This particular bit of vanity is ridiculous, when you think about it. The "end of the line" is not something to even worry about. Family names are an artificial construct, and these lines can end for many reasons.

Don't do it to be fulfilled. If you "need" to have kids to "be fulfilled" then something is wrong. If you are bringing children into this world, you should do so with the goal of rearing them into happy, well-adjusted adults. If your emotional well being is their burden, your kids will be psychotic instead. Don't do that to them.


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