Mindconnection eNL, 2007-09-23

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In this issue:

1. Product highlight
2. Brainpower tip
3. Time tip
4. Finance tip

5. Security tip
6. Health tip/Fitness tip
7. Miscellany
8. Thought for the day

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For example, we may desire to "be right." When it goes beyond a certain level, it becomes consuming and subsequently it:

• Blinds us to evidence that challenges our view (or opinion).
• Causes us to see things that aren't there, as long as they support our view.
• Causes us to seek information that supports our view, regardless of its source or accuracy.
• Causes us to interpret facts, events, statistics, and other information inaccurately.
• Leads us to accept nonsequitors as logic.

The desire to "be right" is a self-defeating desire that has the inevitable outcome of making us wrong more often than right. And when this occurs, we can't see it.

Other self-defeating desires include the desire to be rich, be popular, get a promotion, stay young, and so forth. You could make a list several pages long and it would still be far from complete.

The key here isn't that there are "good" desires or "bad" desires. The key is the intensity of the desire. When an emotional need becomes too intense, your brain takes a vacation.

What can you do about this? Take some time to reflect on why you get up each day. What really drives you? When you think of what you've said and done throughout the day, what was your real motivation? If you can't put your finger on it, suspect an emotional need as being the motivation.

Emotional needs become controlling when something is out of balance or when you have been in a position of powerlessness. For example, a child feels unloved due to lack of attention from his parents. He learns that if he misbehaves, they pay attention. So he adopts this coping skill as his way of getting the attention and love he needs. He carries it through to adult life, and makes poor decisions.

If you determine what drives you to do things--especially those things that other people tell you don't make sense and those things that have caused you pain--you can address a desire that is choking off your thinking ability. Unlock your brainpower by addressing that desire directly.

For example, you determine that you desire to be right (our initial example). This drives you, because you have had to compete with people who are better connected, have a better education, or whatever. Your "being right" doesn't impress them or whomever might be judging you in this competition (if, in fact, it actually exists). The reality is your "being right" has forced you into actually moving backwards.

Yet, you want the respect of people who have advantages you don't. What do you do? One way to solve this is to change the scope of the problem. Pick an area of interest, and become an expert in that. Take classes, meet with experts, attend seminars, read books on the topic, participate in original research on the topic. If the area is dominated by people with PhDs, you will need to earn a PhD to be taken seriously. It's not an unattainable goal. How do you know what is required to be an expert in that area? Look at the credentials of people who are widely held to be experts in that area. Obtain those same credentials, then move forward.

If all of this is too much work, then you will have to come to terms with the fact that you simply aren't an expert in anything and that really doesn't matter. You have other quality attributes. Let those shine through, and quit alienating people with your faux expertise.

It may seem counterintuitive, but after you've given up on "being right," the increase in your brainpower will actually cause you to be right more than you ever have. Meanwhile, the obnoxiousness of letting the desire to "be right" stain your interactions disappears. The result is you get that positive vibe you were seeking all along. And you're smarter!

What's the lesson for you, here? Think about things you now do where large elements of wasted time are involved. How can you do those things without that element? Online banking is an example of where people are saving time that way. Can you think of others?

Here are just a few examples. It might be an interesting family exercise to make as big a list as you can. Maybe reward the person who provides the most ideas.

• Car. Do you check the air in the tires? The oil? The power steering fluid? Do you keep it clean inside and out? Do you have your tires rotated and balanced on schedule, and follow the maintenance schedule in your owner's manual?
   
• Refrigerator. Do you pull it out and clean the coils at least monthly? A dirty refrigerator costs much, much more to operate than one that is maintained.
   
• Teeth. Do you brush and floss? This not only preserves your teeth and gums, but it helps you not develop bad breath.
   
• Computer. Do you open the case and blow out the dust every month or so?
   
• Carpet. If you vacuum it weekly (or more, if you have pets, kids, or much traffic), you extend the life of your carpet by removing dirt that would otherwise damage the fibers. But you also remove sources of odor and creepy crawly things.
   
• Clothing. Slash clothing bills by washing in the lowest temperature (e.g., cold). Advice to "kill germs" by washing in fiber-damaging hot water overlooks the obvious fact that you can't infect yourself with your own germs. Dry clothes with low heat or none at all.
   
• Footwear. Give shoes and boots a break. If you wear the same pair two days in a row, you reduce their life dramatically. Worse, you provide your feet with inadequate cushioning while putting them in a bacteria breeding ground. Give footwear a day to dry out and to refill its cushion cells with air.
   

Other places to maintain

• Don't forget relationships. Those are very maintenance-intensive. You can't take them for granted.
   
• One area where many of us fall down is maintaining our job. What are you doing to make yourself more valuable to your employer or to ensure your boss is continually satisfied with your work and the way you handle yourself on the job?
   
• They say if you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything. Yet it has become normal to engage in behavior that most certainly does not maintain health.

These kids are the I*R*S agents, muggers, gang warriors, rapists, and other criminals of the future. To stop the carnage against innocent people, we have to stop the carnage against animals.

So your security tip for this issue is this. Keep your eyes open and your ears tuned to kids and any hint of animal abuse. Do what it takes to stop it. But go further. For any kids in your own sphere of influence, teach them respect for animals by your words and your example.

I would also like to point out that the idiotic comment about "people hunt deer and nobody complains so what's the big deal about shooting some dogs" is without merit. Hunting, in the tradition passed down through the generations, has a certain code to it. For example, if you wound an animal, you don't leave it to die after days of agony. You scramble after it and put it out of its misery. This is why bow and arrow hunters carry a sidearm. We humans kill cattle and other animals for food. Vicks and his sort were killing and torturing dogs for no reason other than sick entertainment and arrogance.

How's your back doing? Did you know back problems can lead to depression (how depressing!)? Here's an article that will help you understand what to do about it. And if you've been feeling blue, this may be why.

http://www.supplecity.com/articles/depressionvback.htm

1. There are about 1300 species of scorpion, but only 25 of them are deadly. A much lower percentage of CONgressman are competent.
    

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