|There's an old saying, "A closed mouth catches no flies."
Make this a guiding principle in your personal security. For example:|
Generally, the less you say about yourself and/or what you own the better. This seems like such a simple tip, you might be wondering why I bother to mention it. Well, think about what you've said in recent conversations. It's very likely you've caught a few of those proverbial flies.
So, be alert to what you say in future conversations. You might also want to keep track of how many times other people violate their own privacy by sharing things that other people don't need to know. You'll probably be quite amazed at the degree to which this happens.
There's no need to snoop when the victim volunteers the information. Don't be a victim; don't volunteer information.
In this issue, I'd like to talk about a common health hazard that each of us can do something about.
There are drug addicts who can legally obtain a recreational drug that is highly addictive and that kills nearly 100% of its addicts slowly and painfully. The really bad part is how this drug is used. It's burned and released into the air so that non-addicts are also exposed to dangerously high levels of the over 400 carcinogens and other chemicals. By now, you've probably figured out this drug is tobacco.
We need to help them kick the habit. For their safety, and for ours.
The addicts know what they are doing is wrong. They know non-addicts do not like having this poison spewed onto them. We didn't choose the drug, so why don't these smokers respect our choice?
It's bad enough that they overload our medical resources and cause everyone's costs to rise by disrespecting their own bodies. Why do they act as if it's OK to show zero respect for the bodies of other people?
These addicts often claim they have a "right to smoke." The reality is it's not possible to smoke without abusing the fundamental rights of other people. Since the early 1990s, we normals have made huge progress in limiting the ability of smokers to poison us with the air pollution they so thoughtlessly spew into the air the rest of us must breathe. But we have not made enough progress.
Smokers complain that they feel like second-class citizens because they have to go outside the office or other area to smoke. Addicts who are parents don't like being told that smoking in their homes is child abuse. They hear the messages from their victims, and they feel put upon. Apparently, they are not hearing the messages enough. How many times do you walk past a smoldering butt or get a nose full of the smoke? Too many times, most likely.
Now, here's the thing. The vast majority of these addicts don't intend to harm other people. They just operate under the delusion that they aren't harming other people. Think of the smoker as a good person with a bad habit. But it's a habit that harms not just the addict but other people as well. It's the habit, not the person, that is the problem.
Generally, smokers don't understand what all the fuss is about. They don't smell the stench that emanates from their hair, skin, and clothing even when they aren't in the middle of getting their fix. And besides, they do make an effort to hold the cigarette out to the side (another delusion is that this useless gesture somehow protects the non-addict).
So when you angrily confront an addict, it should not be surprising that the addict's response is an angry one. Does this mean you should resort to passive-aggressive techniques? No, those never produce the desired outcome.
Avoidance is the path of least resistance ("I'll overlook it this time, I don't want a confrontation"). But each incidence of not speaking up indicates the behavior is OK, so that when you do speak up it seems you are being unreasonable.
The solution is to be assertive, but not aggressive. And be consistent. Smoking isn't a rational behavior or an intelligent one. You have to treat the addict the same way you treat a dog you are trying to train: reward with positive reinforcement. And be consistent. Actually, this works very well for people too. For people who smoke, it's one of the few effective ways to help them change their destructive behavior.
An example is this. Your neighbor Jim smokes on his porch, but it wafts over pretty much undiluted to your porch. This, of course, is outrageous. But Jim doesn't see it that way. So don't act as if he should. He's outside, relaxing with a smoke and minding his own business. That's how he sees it, and that's where you have to start. Not that he's trying to kill you or violate your rights.
You can approach Jim and say, "I've got a problem, and I need your help."
Now Jim is thinking of how he might help you with YOUR problem instead of being defensive toward your accusations about him.
After all, Jim is a good guy. He just has a bad habit.
"I know you enjoy your cigarettes, but as you know I choose not to smoke. The reason has to do with my health. I'm not asking you to stop smoking, but I need you to figure out a way you can smoke without the smoke coming over to my porch. I can't sit outside at all, because when you sit outside you light up. Can you smoke somewhere else, or can we figure out a smoke-free time that will permit me to be on my own porch?"
Probably, Jim will stop smoking on that porch. Maybe he won't. Even if he does disregard your plea, he has heard another voice, a respectful one, asking him to stop spewing his poison on other people. His discomfort level with smoking will increase. If another person asks him to take it elsewhere, it increases again. If it increases enough times, Jim will seek to free himself from his self-destructive, socially-inept drug addiction.
I have personally used this technique, and it has always been effective. It has never been effective for me to act as if the smoker intends to do something wrong, though that is how I see it and it is my gut response.
People generally don't want trouble. If you ask nicely, they generally don't want to give you trouble either. That's the "catch more bees with honey than with vinegar" thing.
And remember, you are asking the smoker to show respect for YOUR body. To get respect, you must give respect. Don't go on the attack. Ask for help. Nicely.
In addition to probably solving your problem with Jim's spewing 400+ toxic chemicals into the air you are breathing, you will help Jim free himself from an addiction that is already killing him.
Not only is it killing him, it's making him ugly too. Look at his teeth and gums the next time he talks. Look at the wrinkles on his neck. Many smokers pretend there isn't any disfigurement, but heavy smokers are easy to spot in a crowd. They are the ones with "Smokers face" and other readily-visible damage from the chronic abuse of this drug.
Tobacco addition is 100% lethal, if it goes on long enough. Every tobacco addict dies quite prematurely from some tobacco-caused disease (usually in a horrible way), unless s/he first dies from something like getting hit by a truck. The disability and disfigurement along the road to tobacco death are both very unpleasant.
So if you feel a bit squeamish about sticking up for your own health, consider that you are helping the addict by merely bringing up the problem. Why? Because tobacco addiction is one of those drug addictions that nearly always starts with peer pressure and this same pressure continues to exert its will over that of the addict.
This pressure is a major reason some people find it hard to free themselves. They bond with other addicts on the porch at work or they bond with their smoking spouse. When there is pressure to stop smoking, it offsets a corresponding amount of the pressure to keep smoking. The trick is to apply more social pressure to stop smoking than the addict gets to keep smoking. If the addict gets support from a spouse who also wants freedom from this addiction, the two have a very good chance of succeeding.
We also need to apply pressure on the merchants who peddle this poison. Where you shop, ask the store manager if you can voice your opinion on something. Start off by saying, "I would like your help with a problem." Then state that smoking is the leading cause of male impotence, causes over a dozen different kinds of cancer, and kills nearly 100% of smokers through a variety of debilitating, awful diseases like emphysema. Then conclude with, "If there's anything you can do to make these products less prominent and less enticing, you would be helping all of this store's patrons."
Most likely, the store manager will brush you off. But you've made your point. Many stores have already responded to having heard this point again and again. You can also visit the Websites of the retailers you frequent and voice the same thing; especially make an effort to contact the gas station chains.
Notice that in no case did I suggest asking the smoker to quit or the store to stop carrying the drugs. Notice the subtlety. That is what moves things toward success. You can ask a small favor and usually get what you want. Ask for a big one, and you may get an antagonistic response that leaves you worse off than when you started.
www.supplecity.com, you'll find plenty of informative, authoritative
articles on maintaining a lean, strong physique. It has nothing to
do with long workouts or impossible to maintain diets. In fact:|
The University of Alaska spans four time zones. This is an interesting fact that leads to another interesting fact. Most people living in the Lower 48 mistakenly believe that North America spans 4 time zones. But look up New Brunswick Time and you'll understand why this belief is a mistaken one.
The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man . . .
. . . never worshipped anything but himself.
Sir Richard Francis Burton (1821 - 1890)
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Except where noted, this e-newsletter is entirely the work of Mark Lamendola. Anything presented as fact can be independently verified. Often, sources are given; but where not given, they are readily available to anyone who makes the effort.
Mark provides information from either research or his own areas of established expertise. Sometimes, what appears to be a personal opinion is the only possibility when applying sound logic--reason it out before judging! (That said, some personal opinions do appear on occasion).
The purpose of this publication is to inform and empower its readers (and save you money!).
Personal note from Mark: I value each and every one of you, and I hope that shows in the diligent effort I put into writing this e-newsletter. Thank you for being a faithful reader. Please pass this newsletter along to others.