Mindconnection eNL, 2005-03-13

• Don't loan money to a friend. You will lose both.
• Don't give money or credit cards to your children. Make them earn money and go without when they overspend, or you train them to manage money poorly.
• Don't get entangled in your parents' finances. You risk embarrassing or angering them, if you see or say the wrong thing.

Yet, what if you have friends, kids, or parents who have fallen on hard times? How do you help out, without damaging the relationship you have? Be creative! Here are some examples of things you can do:

• Offer to hire them to do a specific job for you. One man's father was a retired carpenter. But, they lived far apart. The man wanted his father to visit him, but his father couldn't afford the trip and wouldn't accept payment for it. So, the son called his father and said he had several construction projects he needed to hire out. He asked his dad to bid on those. He said, "I'm going to pay someone, so I figure why not pay you and know the job is done right?
   
• Offer to pay for specific expenses, rather than offering a general handout. A woman was concerned about the balding tires on her 23-year old son's car. Her husband wanted to offer their son some cash, and suggest he use it to buy new tires. After some discussion, they instead offered to buy the son new tires for his car if he would agree to help them  move several heavy items out of their attic. The son would have helped his parents anyhow, but the additional requirement of a quid pro quo helped him appear more independent than he really was. Most importantly, the direct purchase solved the problem the parents wanted to solve.
   
• Another example of paying for specific expenses was a son who picked up his father's prescription drugs and paid for the balance not paid by the father's health insurance. When the father objected, the son said, "All those times I was sick as a kid, you paid for everything. Let me give back, a little bit. This is the least I can do for you."
   
• Another example is a nephew who runs a fitness store. He sent his aunt high-grade calcium supplements when he heard she had been diagnosed with osteoporosis. When she asked him how much she owed him, he replied her money was no good at his store

Be careful when it comes to paying for things or giving money, as you run into the gift tax. This can be a rather nasty surprise. Contrary to popular opinion, the alleged Statute of Limitations that allegedly keeps the American Taliban from assessing additional taxes after 3 years is so full of holes it may as well not even exist. The AT can hit your gift recipient with hundreds of thousands of dollars of penalties and interest 20 or 30 years later, and cost that person everything. So, don't give more than $11,000 annually to any one person or that person may be in deep trouble on down the road unless you also pay for a pro to review that person's income tax forms for the year in which you give the gift.

Of course, you can give cash anonymously. Making that audit-proof can be tricky. So, you may not want to go there.

Note that direct payments to a doctor or hospital are exempt from the gift tax. So, if you have a friend, parent, etc., who has huge medical bills and you want to help out--pay toward those bills directly to the hospital. Protect yourself from being liable for the remaining bills by including an explanatory letter with your payment that the gift is a one-time gift and does not imply any responsibility on your part to pay any remaining bills. Keep a copy. If you pay another bill this way, include another explanatory letter. You can probably have as many one-time gifts as you want, but if you start to establish a pattern of payment then you should consult an attorney for proper protection.

Falling is the most common mode of accident. This is primarily because few people learn the correct body mechanics of walking and balance. There's not much you can do about that end of things, but you can reduce the fall hazards. For example, check your stairs, handrails, rugs, and related items and fix anything that may lead to a fall.

If you're concerned about the cost of reducing fall hazards, ask your doctor what it costs to treat a broken arm, or ask your dentist what it costs to crown half a dozen front teeth. If the numbers they give you don't grab your attention, then consider that a hip fracture can easily cost over $30,000.

So, prevention makes sense on that front (not to mention eliminating potential lawsuits and pain and suffering). But just having the preventive measures in place can increase the resale value of your home while dropping your insurance rates while you are in it now. Talk to your insurance agent for specifics.

No doubt, you have adjusted to the danger spots in your home. So you are probably thinking, "This applies to someone else, not to me. It won't happen here." Famous last words. You probably do have safety problems, and you probably do need to fix them. You can consult your Realtor, insurance agent, or a remodeling contractor for an informed opinion. What they tell you may come as a shock, but do listen!

Just to show there's more than you may be thinking, let's look at three common danger areas:

• Bathrooms
• Floors and coverings
• Lighting

Bathrooms. Consider replacing your existing tub and/or shower with a newer, safer design. Your existing one may be near the end of its life, anyhow. Have an expert come over and look at what you have, then provide you with some options.

If you use the same plumbing company all the time, then you can probably trust them not to waste your money because they value your continued business. Seriously consider their recommendations. Ask them to come up with a range of solutions, including simple fixes such as grab bars and non-skid treatments for tubs and showers.

Think about non-skid mats in front of toilets, tubs, sinks, and showers--any place that might produce a slipping hazard due to water on the surface.
 

Floors and coverings. Those wood parquet floors really look nice in your entry way. Most people put rugs on these, so visitors can wipe their feet as though that's going to remove the dog poo buried deep in the treads of their shoes before they walk all over your beige carpet with their shoes on. Take a hint from the Koreans and Japanese, and leave the dog poo infested shoes by the door.

What about those rugs? Such rugs are generally dangerous. Unless the rug has an anti-slip backing, it's likely to slide as though it's on wet ice. If you like that particular rug, then put a slip-resistant mat under it.

Wall to wall carpet problems can also lead to falls. If your carpet has, due to age, become "loose" and you now see bulges or ripples where it should be lying flat, then have a carpet installer come out and stretch the carpet. Some people maintain that falling hazards are minimal on carpet, because the carpet cushions the fall. This is simply not true.

Keep your floors free of clutter. Items like magazines, books, DVDs, toys, CDs, papers, photos, bags, clothes, and so on belong in their respective storage areas. They do not belong scattered around on your floor. Nor do they belong on tabletops or countertops, but that concern is for a different article.

Look for where electrical cords of any type are running in trafficways, and re-locate them away from where people walk. If doing so requires adding an extension cord, then leave the electrical cords in the way. Extension cords are meant for temporary use, only. If you must leave a cord in the way, then put it inside a cord channel for use in walkways. You can find these in any hardware store or building supply center. Another name for them is "cord concealers." Just ask for help in finding one, if you can't locate it quickly.

Lighting. I've written many articles on lighting and lighting controls for publications that serve the electrical industry. So, I have all kinds of tips. I'll try to control myself, here, so you can finish this eNL in a reasonable time!

When do people most often stumble into things (other than when they are stone-drunk or just went through a tax audit)?

When trying to find the #%&@ light switch! My solution is to eliminate the need to find the switch. You have many ways to do this.

• Install additional switches and/or lights. Take note of where you walk through the dark. Then, simply add more circuitry. This might not be so easy, if there are problems in fishing wire through your walls. This can be expensive, too. Get 2 or 3 bids before deciding whether to do it. Don't do it yourself, if you're not an electrician. Too many homes burn down that way.
   
• Install remote control units. Take a look at the remote control systems available at your local building supply center. Then, talk to a residential electrical firm about installing a few of these so you can turn lights on and off (and dim them) from your couch, bed, or other place you may occupy when it's dark outside. Keep one in your car, and you can turn the lights on in your home before you even open the door! You can also turn them off when you are no longer in the house, rather than stumbling in the dark to find the door....
   
• Install solar lighting on pathways leading to your door. But, take care to avoid light pollution ( a real problem for astronomers, among others). These fixtures should aim their light down, not all over the neighborhood.
   
• Install dimmers in bathrooms and other areas you will enter at night. You hate turning on the light, because it blinds you. That's one reason so many women yell at their husbands about the mess on the front of the toilet or on the floor in front of it. Unless your "equipment" comes with radar or some other method of operating flawlessly on target in the dark, turn on the light so you can see what you are doing. A dimmer allows you to do this without being blinded and without causing your body to reflexively go into wakeup mode. I have dimmers on nearly every light switch in my house. And I make sure every guest always knows there's one on the guest bathroom lights.
   
• Consider sensor-based lighting systems. Take a look at the various occupancy sensor lighting controls. Most of these sense motion. But, you may be surprised at how many different ways there are to automatically provide light.
   
• Buy some of those low-watt night lights. These are especially good for when you have company. I have these little orange neon plastic disks that I can plug in anywhere and create a lighted path for my guests.
   
• Keep a flashlight near your bed. You don't want to turn on a table lamp just so you can get your earplugs, safety glasses, and shotgun if someone breaks into your house. And, what if the power goes out?
   
• Buy some of those large pushbutton-looking battery-powered lights. The on/off switch and the light lens are the same thing. These are handy, and they look cool. Use them to create an emergency exit path, or have some around just for when the power goes out.