Mindconnection eNL, 2004-05-10
Please forward this eNL to a friend!
shopping spree. (Some folks might really like it).
In this issue:
- Product Highlights
- Brainpower tip
- Time tip
- Finance tip
- Security tips
- Health tip/Fitness tip
- Thought for the day
1. Product Highlights
|In this age of drive-by shootings,
building bombings, subway stabbings, and IRS audits, the world seems
like a very dangerous place. We can see the aggression. But, there's
also aggression in our friendships, marriages, and other relationships.
At times, it eats away at us like a poison.
At other times, it explodes from us, taking with it precious chunks of
life and love that we can never replace.
How can you avoid getting into a situation where
you behave like one snarling cat facing off against another? This course
shows you how.
This course is one of a series developed by Dr. Jay
Prince and now licensed exclusively to Mindconnection through his widow.
During his lifetime, Dr. Prince treated many patients who needed to
overcome a problem through psychotherapy. Dr. Prince also had several
corporate clients, who came to him for solving dysfunctional situations
within their companies.
This course follows the same protocol used in
short-term professional psychotherapy. The notable exception here is the
course is self-treatment. Whereas you could expect 4 or 5 one-hour
sessions with a psychotherapist, the self-treatment approach will take
more time and more self-initiative. But, you won't be paying $200 per hour
for five hours this way, either.
As with any form of psychotherapy, your journey
along the healing path may not end with this course. However, note these
two facts about this kind of treatment:
- The success rate is very high, for people who
make an honest effort to work through the therapy.
- The therapy lays the groundwork for a stronger
method of treatment, if needed.
Going this route--the self-treatment via Dr.
Prince's course--will save you money for three reasons:
- You pay a one-time fee for the course, rather
than $200 an hour for 4 to 6 hours
- If this therapy solves your problem, that's your
- If short-term therapy can't solve your problem,
you have determined that without spending $200/hr.
Estimated completion time: 10 one-hour sessions.
2. Brainpower tip
When discussing any subject with
another person, it's easy to get into a difference of opinion. What's
really interesting about this is people often differ while holding
essentially wanting the very same thing! What they argue about is rarely
the real issue.
For example, Brad and Lisa work for an appliance
manufacturer. Brad runs the marketing department and wants 6 buttons on
a new model of dishwasher. Lisa heads up product development, and wants
5 buttons. They begin to argue about buttons, which is a non-issue. They
both want a more user-friendly dishwasher, and they both want the exact
same number of features. What they have failed to do here is define the
One way to avoid arguments is to refuse to have
diversity. A higher manager, tired of the bickering, could just rule
that Brad always makes the decisions. But then, Lisa's valuable input
would be lost. So, how do you get diversity without disagreeableness?
The key is to focus on having an effective conversation rather than an
exchange of monologues or a competition of advocacies.
To have an effective conversation where inputs are
going to vary, you need to do the following:
- Define the purpose of the debate. Why are we
discussing this? What do we hope to achieve? Who will benefit, and
- Define the terms of the debate. Are
we really concerned about the buttons, or are we going to focus only
on those topics that directly support the purpose?
- Define the length of the debate. Many people
win arguments by simply wearing down the other person. Putting a
time limit on the conversation can often prevent it from becoming an
argument. The attitude "life is too short for this" comes
to the fore.
Really pretty simple, isn't it? If both people
agree to respect each other and the topic they are discussing, the
results can go well beyond the potential of either of the individuals
The equation changes from a subtractive form of math to a multiplicative form of math. Three minus three is always less than three times three. Think of that, the next time you are tempted to compromise mutual brainpower by falling into the trap of a pointless argument.
3. Time tip
Too much to do,
and not enough time to do it? Yep, happens all the time. Again and
again. Ever wonder why? There's a short list of causes for this
scenario. But rather than address all of them here, I'm going to address
the most common one. To understand what the others are and how to
overcome them, see our time management course at:
say you have 10 weeks to complete a particular task that takes 12 hours.
How do you normally approach this? Nearly everyone will wait until they
have about a week left, and then schedule those 12 hours in. They will
then congratulate themselves for allowing more than enough time.
problem arises when they begin the task, only to discover they need
another resource to complete it. Or, they discover they are too tired to
work at their best on it and it takes more than the 12 hours it would
have taken had they been at their peak.
they have something else come up--perhaps an emergency. Or, they'd like
to do something else, but can't because this block of time is now used
up for this project. The result? A feeling that there's not enough time
to do the task, because you are now running into time conflicts.
cure for this is to start the task early. Get the ball rolling. Just
divide the task up into smaller subtasks, and start doing them. If you
run into a problem, you have more time to address it. If you thread all
of the component subtasks of your projects throughout your calendar, you
will provide yourself with more time cushion.
can also look at a given subtask, decide you're not up to it right now,
and just do it later. Rather than work at an average 60% competence
(which is probably typical), you work at an average 80% competence. This
means you get more done. But, the relationship isn't linear. Working at
80% average competence doesn't mean you are getting just 20% more done.
With higher competence, you have increased creativity and decreased
mistakes. Your overall efficiency might increase by a factor of five or
People have argued with me about
this, claiming "I am always at my peak competence." To which I
can only reply, "OK, you're right." I say that because there
it is a complete waste of time to argue with someone who takes such an
arrogant and self-defeating viewpoint.
technique of matching your tasks to your ebb and flow of performance is
simply a way to take advantage of the cycles nature imposes on us. To
fight these cycles or to pretend they don't exist is simply a way of
4. Finance tip
|How often do you get
those flyers that promise 10% off, for one day only? So, you go to the
store to save money. And you leave with quite a bit of merchandise.
Question: Do merchants run these sales to save you
money or to sell product?
To avoid overspending, make a list of items you
would like to buy and do not deviate from that list.
When you respond to a 10% (or whatever) sale, you
are going to a store where other people are in spending mode. It can be
infectious. That 10% sale causes some people to really stock up, even on
items that are excluded from the promotion. Others, who may not even
know about the sale (because they didn't get that coupon) automatically
mimic this behavior (it's a group psychology thing). The net discount
that the merchant actually pays out might be closer to 2%.
This little finance tip will save you hundreds of
dollars a year, if you are a typical consumer. Now that you have all of
that extra money, take a look around at www.mindconnection.com
and spend some of it there! For example, see our book reviews and
recommendations at www.mindconnection.com/books.
Ah, nothing like gratuitous plugs!
5. Security tip
|Do you have one of
those electronic security systems? Do you think it will protect you?
Here's an experiment. Grab a pair of scissors, and go to your telephone
interface box. Now, look at the scissors and look at the phone cable. In
most installations, this is exposed. Mine is actually enclosed in pipe.
Do you see the obvious, here? Find an electrician in your area to
install this properly, or save yourself the hassle and cost of a
security system by disconnecting the stupid thing. After all, that is
exactly what a burglar is going to do first--and all that person needs
is a pair of scissors.
Of course, if you have a dummy phone wire system
installed in hopes this fool will cut that and then enter your house to
send the alarm via the concealed wiring for the real system, great. By
the way, you can have an electrician install a relay with normally
closed contacts so your alarm system can detect when that dummy wire is
cut. This will allow you to know an intrusion is coming, so you have
more time to insert your earplugs, check your weapon, and so on.
6. Health tip/Fitness tips
|Pick up any fitness magazine, and
you'll find an article about "abs." People buy gadgets for
"ab development," then end up storing those items in a closet
because of lackluster results. You can find books on great abs, but most
folks spend the time to read them or the money to buy them.
So, here's your abs freebie. There are two
elements to having great abs, and it's possible to have them even if you
are middle-aged. The two elements are fat loss and muscle gain.
Now, in all fairness, I want to write a disclaimer
here. It was Mother's Day yesterday, and I hope all mothers understand
that for you to get the abs you had before you gave birth is demanding a
bit much. So, don't feel guilty about not meeting unrealistic
expectations. Some women luck out and can have awesome abs after kids,
but most will have to realize that becoming a mother was a mixed
blessing and a fairly flat tummy is more than good enough.
For you men who have not given birth to children
(and I assume that's all of us), there is no excuse for looking as
though you did give birth. If you are still married, do this for your
wife as well as yourself.
- To reduce fat, reduce your caloric consumption.
It's that simple (well, most of the time). Yes, there are many other
things you can do--but this is the one step folks typically
overlook. Do not go on the Atkins diet or some other stupid,
unhealthy, insane, should be illegal, whacko plan (don't ask me how
I really feel, unless you want to hear about my jail plan for the
purveyors of this nonsense). Simply eat less at mealtime. I don't
mean fewer carbs. I mean smaller portions. That won't get you there
fast, but it will get you there. For more specifics and faster
progress, see the free articles at www.supplecity.com.
- To build abs, do the right exercises. Sit-ups
are a joke. These build your hip flexors, not your abs. If you can
do dozens of repetitions of an exercise, that exercise is not
building muscle. The reason has to do with basic bodybuilding
science. Exercises that do build abs are squats, deadlifts, and
hanging leg raises. If you don't know how to do these, contact a gym
and find someone with certifications (not just the title
"personal trainer") to show you. Your abdominals are
muscle tissue, just like your arms. They need proper overloading and
proper rest to develop.
7. Thought for the Day
Do you reserve special thoughts for
special days? Now that Mother's Day has passed, when's the next time you
will do something special for the special mother(s) in your life? If you
share my good fortune in having a mother who is still alive, when will
you next make her feel special? If your wife, best friend, aunt, niece,
mentor or some other person holds a special motherly relationship to you
(or your children), time's a wastin'! Don't wait until Christmas to buy
a present or to give of yourself. Make plans for a June surprise, today.
Wishing you the best,
The views expressed in this e-newsletter are generally not shared by criminals, zombies, or brainwashed individuals.
Except where noted, this e-newsletter is entirely the work of Mark Lamendola. Anything presented as fact can be independently verified. Often, sources are given; but where not given, they are readily available to anyone who makes the effort.
Mark provides information from either research or his own areas of established expertise. Sometimes, what appears to be a personal opinion is the only possibility when applying sound logic--reason it out before judging! (That said, some personal opinions do appear on occasion).
The purpose of this publication is to inform and empower its readers (and save you money!).
Personal note from Mark: I value each and every one of you, and I hope that shows in the diligent effort I put into writing this e-newsletter. Thank you for being a faithful reader.
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