Dating

Finding the love of your life: 10 tips

1. Look for love in the right places.

You say you don't have time to take a sewing class in hopes of meeting that special lady, or an electronics course to meet that special guy? Or you've already done so and it just didn't pan out? Tired of bars and singles groups? Try an online dating service. That's pretty popular, these days. But don't forget to talk with your friends about your situation. The tradition of making connections through connections with other people is still very much alive and well.

2. Become more physically attractive.

Let's face it, people do judge books by their covers. If your body looks like an ad for save the whales, you are going to limit the number of people interested in a relationship with you. No, you don't need a perfect physique to find love. But if you are in shape, you will feel better about yourself, and this will carry over into how you interact with a prospective love partner. It will also get you "up to bat," so you can make that home run to the heart. For help with this, get free advice on how to be leaner.

3. Become more emotionally attractive. Be cheerful--don't think of the inconvenience involved in following dating rituals. Think of how making small efforts will help endear you to the other person. Express positive sentiments. A trip to your local Hallmark card shop is one of the best investments you can make for your love portfolio.

4. Pay attention to the person you want. It's just a fact that frequent contact works far better than the dishonest "playing hard to get" approach. Let the other person know you are interested. Show enthusiasm. Guys, don't be cheap with the flowers. A big bouquet sent to her at the office tells her you think she is important and attractive. Don't wait for a special occasion--the occasion is that she is special.

5. Show respect for the other person's space and time. It's good to call and say, "I was just thinking about you, and I wanted to let you know." End the conversation with, "I'm buried in a million things to do, but it was important to stop everything and hear your voice." Be alert to whether this person needs quiet time, working out time, or has some other commitment that might go better without you there.

6. Really listen to the other person, and look for things you have in common. Find out what is important to the other person, and act accordingly.

7. Don't talk about past loves or yourself. If asked about yourself or past loves, answer honestly--but keep it short. Get the conversation back on track, and into the present. Don't talk about plans far into the future, either.

8. Don't make every date a lavish affair. To get close to one another, you need some mundane experiences together. Shopping, home repair projects, cooking together, and simply going for a walk are all ways to bond better. Pick a way that is suitable for both of you.

9. When your relationship includes sexual activities, take time to make love to your partner's entire body, not just the genitalia. Begin the love-making process well ahead of time, by showing affection and respect "out of the sack."

10. Follow any intimate encounter with a personal note, card, phone call, or small gift to show you still care for this person. When people are intimate, they are exposed. Let the other person know you like what he or she shared with you. Keep the tone in line with the other person's expectations--if in doubt, keep it conservative. An explicit or crude expression of sentiment could have the opposite effect of what you intend--and make the other person feel like a slab of meat in your eyes. Aim for something classy in what you say. Here are some thoughts that go over well:

"You make me feel like a natural woman."
"You left me trembling and breathless last night. I want you even more than I did before."
"Thank you for yesterday's taste of heaven. I want to see you again. And again. And again."