"The Whisperer"

Learning to overcome the tendency to speak too softly - in a whisper or near whisper - and improve cooperation from others in the process

Introduction

Let's begin by reviewing the actual "Scenario" that drew you to this course. It's a description of what we'll call your "self-defeating pattern." Despite many attempts to temper your style of interacting with others, and even though people have told you that you’re too softspoken or you whisper instead of talk, you persist in the behavior. As wild as that seems, the idea that people will keep repeating something they know is working against them is not unusual. In fact, everyone does it or has done it. Here's another look at the problem:

You are not one to speak up, even if you need something. If people don't care enough to listen carefully, then they didn't want to listen in the first place. You don't want to be like one of those loud, boorish people. You don't like to offer ideas or advice, because people may not accept what you say. By keeping your volume low, maybe people won't hear things they would object to. You're just trying to get along with others by being quieter than the average person. Some people describe you as a follower, and that's fine with you. You don't enjoy taking a directive role and would rather be managed than have the added responsibility of managing. You usually don't mean anything negative by your "oddly quiet" manner.

It's not personal as far as you’re concerned. You are interested in doing what's expected of you, and design your efforts to avoid confrontations, mishaps and catastrophes. Too often, however, others get the wrong idea about you. They sometimes see you as unenthusiastic or uncommitted. They think you may not have their same desire for accomplishment, that you are a marginal player, and that their goals are not important to you. Some have become offended with you and don't share their ideas with you as readily, while others have become more aggressive and pushy with you. You've even heard people accuse you of being manipulative and "self-important!" As if! The result is the team isn’t functioning the way you meant for it to. Your efforts are actually backfiring.

It's enough to make you squirm a bit, but that's only because it rings true. The good news is you're about to learn how to make some serious changes in that pattern and to make those changes last.

This self-improvement process is exactly the same process you would go through in professional treatment, but you do it yourself (or with a friend) at a much lower cost. The  course consists of a guidance document you read as you work through the underlying issues of your problem.

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