"The Boor" or "The Gabber"

Learning to moderate compulsive talking and improve cooperation from others in the process

Introduction

Let's begin by reviewing the actual "Scenario" that drew you to this course. It's a description of what we'll call your "self-defeating pattern." Despite many attempts to temper your style of interacting with others, and even though people have told you that you talk too much, you persist in the behavior. As wild as that seems, the idea that people will keep repeating something they know is working against them is not unusual. In fact, everyone does it or has done it. Here's another look at the problem:

You always have something to contribute and are very clear about how you see things. Your views are based on sound information and are interesting to you. It doesn't make sense for you to wait for others to "speak up" because time is wasted in the process and you already know what needs to be said. You enjoy taking a directive role and would rather manage than be managed. You see that you rescue others from silence by sharing your views or thoughts with them. You usually don't mean anything offensive in your tone or manner, and you certainly aren't stopping them from talking.

Too often, however, others get the wrong idea about you. They sometimes see you as pushy, aggressive, and overly talkative. They think you may have a tendency to be judgmental or opinionated, because the one voice they keep hearing is yours. Some have grown intimidated and don't share their ideas with you as readily, while others have become more aggressive and pushy with you. They may even ask, "Don't you ever shut up?" The result is the team isn't functioning the way you meant for it to. Your efforts are actually backfiring.

It's enough to make you squirm a bit, but that’s only because it rings true. The good news is you're about to learn how to make some serious changes in that pattern and to make those changes last.

This self-improvement process is exactly the same process you would go through in professional treatment, but you do it yourself (or with a friend) at a much lower cost. The  course consists of a guidance document you read as you work through the underlying issues of your problem.

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