"The Boor" or "The
Gabber"
Learning to moderate compulsive talking and improve
cooperation from others in the process
Introduction
Let's begin by reviewing the actual "Scenario"
that drew you to this course. It's a description of what we'll call
your "self-defeating pattern." Despite many attempts to temper
your style of interacting with others, and even though people have told
you that you talk too much, you persist in the behavior. As wild as
that seems, the idea that people will keep repeating something they
know is working against them is not unusual. In fact, everyone does
it or has done it. Here's another look at the problem:
You always have something to contribute and are
very clear about how you see things. Your views are based on sound information
and are interesting to you. It doesn't make sense for you to wait for
others to "speak up" because time is wasted in the process
and you already know what needs to be said. You enjoy taking a directive
role and would rather manage than be managed. You see that you rescue
others from silence by sharing your views or thoughts with them. You
usually don't mean anything offensive in your tone or manner, and you
certainly aren't stopping them from talking.
Too often, however, others get the wrong idea about
you. They sometimes see you as pushy, aggressive, and overly talkative.
They think you may have a tendency to be judgmental or opinionated,
because the one voice they keep hearing is yours. Some have grown intimidated
and don't share their ideas with you as readily, while others have become
more aggressive and pushy with you. They may even ask, "Don't you
ever shut up?" The result is the team isn't functioning the way
you meant for it to. Your efforts are actually backfiring.
It's enough to make you squirm a bit, but that’s
only because it rings true. The good news is you're about to learn how
to make some serious changes in that pattern and to make those changes
last.
This self-improvement process is exactly the same
process you would go through in professional treatment, but you do it
yourself (or with a friend) at a much lower cost. The course consists
of a guidance document you read as you work through the underlying issues
of your problem.
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