| Review
of
The Law of Forgiveness, by ABC (Softcover, 2009)
(You can print this review in landscape mode, if you
want a hardcopy)
Reviewer:
Mark Lamendola, author of over 6,000 articles.
What struck me most about this book was the author's heavy
self-promotion. While the book does provide good information on its
title topic and can be very helpful, it struck me as having too much of
an advertorial focus. It seemed a primary goal of this book was to
promote the Connie Domino workshops.
The testimonials seem too good to be true. So and so did this, and
that miraculous thing happened right away. The author provides no way to
check the veracity of these accounts via third-party references. This a
problem, because author relies heavily on these accounts and they make
up the bulk of the text (or at least seem to).
While she doesn't provide sources backing her own success stories
(except for another self-help author or two), she does provide sources
for a few non-workshop accounts of following forgiveness principles. One
example is the healing in South Africa following the ending of
apartheid.
Among the good information is a script for developing your own
forgiveness incantation. Such an incantation can be very effective if
you use it properly. She doesn't claim that there are magic words that
have any particular power. She provides a means of centering your
thoughts in a structured manner.
I'm not an expert in this field, but it is my opinion that
forgiveness must come from deep down inside. The incantation won't work
unless it's something you really meditate upon. I think this is the
author's intent, but she doesn't make that clear enough in my opinion.
While I personally do not doubt that her process is effective (if
used properly), she doesn't make a rigorous case for it. Maybe her point
is that you should try this for yourself and make up your own mind based
on results. She may intend for those results to serve as a sampler for
what you can really do if you participate in one of her workshops.
This book consists of 9 chapters. The first chapter provides us with
the author's background in forgiveness, and how she personally developed
an appreciation for its power. In the second chapter, she explains how
to forgive in an effective manner.
One valuable point she brings up, in conflict with some other authors
on the subject, is it's not necessary for you to contact the person you
are forgiving. While in many cases, it may be advisable to make such
contact, in many cases it's inadvisable. And in some, it's impossible.
When authors state that you have to "make peace" with the other person,
how can children forgive dead parents? Countless other examples abound,
where contacting the person is just not a good idea or is simply
impossible.
Another valuable point is she says you need to forgive yourself.
Berating yourself for your past mistakes, unless you need to correct
them in the present moment, doesn't help. It does bring negativity into
the foreground and serve as a barrier to healing. Some other authors
talk about forgiving others but overlook self-forgiveness. In many
cases, forgiving yourself is necessary for you to forgive others. So it
was good she covered this.
In the third chapter, she provides what I consider a weak explanation
of the science behind forgiveness. For coffee table talk, it may be
fine. But it isn't a serious discussion. I believe she included it as
food for thought, so readers would be open to things that currently defy
explanation. I think she was making the point that just because you
can't explain doesn't mean it isn't so. Try explaining how your brain
works, and you see that this point rings true.
Chapter 4 is about healing relationships, Chapter 5 is about working
through anger, and Chapter 6 is about the law of forgiveness in the
workplace. In Chapter 7, she discusses the relationship between
forgiveness and health. Then in Chapter 8, she talks about taking it to
the next level: higher consciousness.
Chapter 9 proposes a forgiveness revolution. This is an interesting
concept. The author proposes this as a means to world peace. If you look
at all wars, you see that the people who start them and end them are not
the same people who fight them. Wars make a few individuals very rich,
and so I think it's greed rather than grudges fueling them.
So I don't consider world peace a reason to forgive. The most
compelling reason is one she discussed and alluded to in the rest of the
book: inner peace. People so driven by greed and power lust that they
orchestrate wars aren't seeking inner peace, so this is a non-starter
for them.
If you have a forgiveness problem and need some motivation to attend
a forgiveness workshop, then this book should be on your reading list.
If you're not in that situation, it's probably still worth the
ridiculously low price and the time it takes to read it. Despite all the
workshop promotion in it, I still found this book worth reading. |