Here is the foreword to the book:

When these two fartmasters approached me about writing a foreward for The Fart Book, I told them they were nuts. Well, I got to thinking about this. Many people in this world underutilize their farts. The need for understanding is great. For example, we know an asteroid will someday collide with the earth, but we think we have no way to stop it. If all 6 billion humans participated in a series of synchronized farts, we could move the planet a few feet a day—and be out of the path of the asteroid before it got here.

Less cosmic concepts are involved, too. When is the proper time to cut a fart? How do you control its bouquet, exit force, duration, and volume for the desired effect? Is it polite to mix your own farts with those of other people, or should you wait until they are done farting to take your turn? Is it better to fart on an escalator than in an elevator? Why are we piping natural gas to heat our homes while at the same time putting exhaust fans in our bathrooms?

These are questions few people have stopped to answer. Yet, in this book, we stop leaving important considerations to, well, blow in the breeze. How often have you been embarrassed after passing gas? Why were you embarrassed? Think of what happens at work. There you are, in your office or cubicle, breathing toxic fumes from the plastics and moldy air handling systems. You surround yourself with a fart bubble, so you breathe only pure fart air. And you enjoy the smell so much you could sit there for hours. But, to your horror, another person walks right into your fart cloud and just about throws up. This is a travesty.

Now, imagine a fart-literate, fart-enabled world. Some idiot tries to hijack the plane you’re on, and fart-certified passengers quickly respond to neutralize the attacker. Or, suppose you live in a place where winter ice has caused more than one old person to fall down at the supermarket and not be able to make it to the prune juice aisle. Coordinated farting in the entrance would remove the ice. And let’s not forget those street intersections!

You see, we are in the fart dark ages. It’s time for a renaissance. It’s time to realize our fart potential, to rise above superstition and embrace the power—the power of the Fart Side!